His Darkness-His Confession Trilogy Buch 1 (EBOOK)

I’m not a villain. I’m something much, much worse…

People have called me many things over the years.

Cold. Violent. Monster. Psychopath.

Only the last one is incorrect.

I’m actually a sociopath.

But my lack of feelings never hurt me. In fact, it helped me survive the brutal torture of my upbringing. Made me one of the best mafia enforcers in the business.

So, I’m…content with my life. Or I was, at least.

Until I saw her.

Luna Wilde is the property of one of my boss’s men. Untouchable. Forbidden. I’ve been ordered to keep my distance.

But for the first time, I don’t give a single fu*k about my orders.

I’m obsessed. Ready to stalk her to the ends of the earth and destroy anyone who stands between us.

 I hope she likes the dark.

 Because that’s where she’ll stay now that she’s mine…

Trigger Warnings: Kidnapping, Stalking, R@pe (Not hero), Captive, PTSD, Childhood Abuse, Panic Attacks, Foster Care, Childhood SA, Physical Abuse, Self Harm, Drugging, Incest (not between hero and heroine), non-con, graphic violence, abuse, drugging, captivity.

Tristan...

...Two Months Earlier

I'm not a man.

Not really. 

Not like other men.

What I am is a human bullet shield for my boss, Luca. And occasionally for Enzo, Luca's other personal soldier, if the need arises. A job I was groomed for by Luca's father ever since I was a young child. A job I'm more than happy to show up for every day.

Maybe happy isn't the right word. Indifferent might be more accurate. Not about Luca himself. He and Enzo are probably the closest thing to friends I'd ever have. But it's not like I give a shit about what happens to me. Only what happens to them. However, I don't know if it's because I genuinely care, or because I've been trained to do so.

And that bothers me a little sometimes.

However, today...today, as I watched Enzo and Serafina exchange vows, it was the first time I could remember feeling…something. Anything. And it had nothing at all to do with my friend and his new wife, but rather, one of their guests.

As I watched the dark-haired beauty walk into Luca's home on Gino's arm in a red dress that flirted with her curves and only teased at what was underneath, that thing stirred deep within my chest. That same thing I'd noticed when I first saw her sitting there in the setting sun during the wedding ceremony. It was primitive and possessive and utterly unfamiliar to me, and it made me want to sink my knife into Gino's fat gut and gift her with a necklace of his intestines.

I almost didn't recognize what it was at first. Emotions of any kind weren't something I was used to experiencing. And the tightening in my chest surprised me so much that I stopped and took a deep breath, taking stock of my body, wondering if an old injury was acting up. 

But no. It wasn't anything physical.

How strange.

"Who is that woman?" I asked Luca when he and Veda stopped alongside me. "The one with Gino."

He followed my gaze to the woman I couldn't stop staring at. "I heard she was payment for a gambling debt that was owed to him," he told me. Veda looked at the woman with new interest, and I could tell she was disturbed by his answer. That didn't surprise me. She wasn't from our world, and she was still soft. 

However, these types of things happened all the time. It never bothered me before. It wasn't my business. So why was it, with this woman, I suddenly wanted to make it my business?

"Tris? What is it?"

Tearing my eyes away from the woman's smooth, bare legs—that I could now clearly see across the room as the crowd parted, along with the four-inch black heels she wore with her red dress—I turned back to Luca. "I just feel like I know her from somewhere." Not exactly the truth, but not quite a lie, and it was a reason Luca would readily accept.

From the corner of my eye, I saw him glance her way again before his attention came back to me. "She does look familiar." He glanced at her again and frowned. Then shook his head slightly. "It doesn't matter. I would forget about her if I were you," Luca warned. "She's Gino's property now. And you know how he gets. I don't want to rock the boat with him right now."

As I watched Gino slide his hand over her ass and squeeze it, my skin crawled, and I nodded in agreement. I didn't want to rock the boat either.

I wanted to fucking sink it.

Luca took that opportunity to change the subject. "But speaking of Gino, I need to discuss a few things with him about his son, Salvatore. If he can't get that boy under control, he's going to start a fucking war."

"Still going after the Irish?" Salvatore had shot one of them in a club not too long ago. Luckily, Salvatore's brother, Gildo, had been there and knocked the gun away so the bullet only grazed the other man. The club owner, however, was the victim's older brother and the leader of their gang, and Gino had had to dish out a lot of money and a few favors to calm him down. Last I'd heard, the matter had been settled.

"Just one Irishman in particular, it appears. And I'm about to find out why." He turned to Veda, and I watched as his eyes devoured her face like he wanted to memorize every feature. I didn't understand their connection, yet I couldn't tear my eyes away. Taking both of her hands in his, he lifted them to his mouth and kissed her knuckles. "Will you be okay until I get back, amore?"

She smiled at him. "I'll be fine. I'm gonna go congratulate the bride and groom." She raised her face to his and gave him a lingering kiss, then smiled at me in the timid way she always did and walked away. I made her uncomfortable, but it didn't bother me. Most people gave off that vibe when I was around them. However, there was no need for her to feel that way. I would never do anything to harm her, no matter the circumstances, because I knew if I did, Luca wouldn't like it. Perhaps I should talk to her sometime and explain this to her. It might help her to relax around me. This was her home now, after all. And I was a permanent fixture in it, as was Enzo.

I followed Luca to the bar where Gino was handing the dark-haired woman a drink in a martini glass. She had removed the cream-colored fur from her shoulders and tucked it beneath one arm, showing off the short sleeves of her dress and her upper arms. There were two freckles on her left bicep just above her elbow, one slightly larger than the other, but otherwise, her skin was unmarred as far as I could see. Her face and arms were unmarked by piercings or tattoos, except for one hole in each of her ears, which told me she didn't blow her money on frivolous things. She glanced over at me when we approached, then nervously lowered her eyes so her dark eyelashes hid her thoughts from me and took a sip of her drink. Her long hair, so dark it was nearly black, was pulled back on one side and fell in soft waves over her shoulders and down her back. My hands fisted at my sides, imagining those thick, silky strands intertwined with my fingers. And I suddenly wished we were alone so I could see what it looked like against the pale skin of her breasts.

My cock swelled at the thought.

Frowning at my body’s reaction, I studied her, wondering why I was fantasizing about this girl. Sex, for me, was used solely as a release of tension. Something I only sought out occasionally and did alone. 

"Luca!" Gino interrupted my thoughts as he grasped Luca's hand and leaned in with pursed lips to press them upon both of his cheeks in the old way of greeting. Tension tightened my shoulders as I watched him. Still, it amused me to see how big of a kiss-ass he'd become since Luca had risen from underboss to boss in the family.

"Gino," Luca responded, not quite as warmly. "May I have a quick moment of your time, per favore?"

"Eh, can't it wait?" Gino waved his wineglass in a wide arc, taking in the room of people laughing and drinking around them. I watched as it sloshed dangerously close to the edge of the glass and then onto the expensive floors of Luca's lake house. "This is a celebration! Not a time for business."

Without taking his eyes from Gino, Luca gestured at one of the servers hired for the event and pointed to the spilled wine. "I'm afraid it really can't wait," he told him, pulling him aside so the server could clean up the mess he'd made.

The grin on Gino's face faltered for a moment before it came back in full force. He glanced at the woman beside him, then back at Luca. "Are you certain it can't wait until tomorrow, at least? It's Luna's first night out, and I hate to leave her all by herself."

Luna.

Her name locked into my memory. 

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid it can't," Luca insisted.

Gino studied him for a moment, then, with a great sigh, set his glass down on the bar. "Your father would never be so uncouth as to discuss business during a wedding."

"My father is dead," was Luca's simple reply. "God rest his soul."

Gino eyed Luca. "Sì, I know." 

It was no secret that some of the Cosa Nostra believed Luigi had been prematurely removed from his seat as head of this family, and that it had been done under Luca's orders, which wasn't entirely true. However, Gino was the only one who had the balls to say it, more or less, to Luca's face. 

Luca ignored the jibe. "It's important, mio amico," My friend. "And it will only take a few minutes. When we return to the party, I'll buy you a drink."

"Ah, but you already have." Gino lifted his wineglass, "Since it's an open bar. But how about a dance with your bella donna, eh?"

Gino's eyes wandered over to where Veda stood, laughing with the new bride, and I idly wondered if he was aware of how very near to death he was at this very moment.

"I'm afraid Veda's dance card is full for tonight," Luca told him evenly. Even so, something about his tone had Gino glancing at his hard blue eyes before quickly looking away and bowing his head.

"Of course. My loss," he said with a smile as he tried to smooth things over again. "Besides, I have this one to dance with." He cocked his head toward his date. "Stay here," he ordered Luna, setting his empty glass on the bar. "I'll be back in a few minutes." Then his eyes wandered over to me, and he lifted a hand to clap me on the shoulder. "Tristan here will keep you company until then, yes?"

I took an immediate step back out of his reach, my spine stiffening for a brief instant before I forced myself to relax, then glanced over at Luca, who gave me a slight nod. "It would be my honor," I told Gino.

He gave Luna a look I couldn't quite decipher. "Make sure she doesn't leave the party early," he told me without taking his eyes from her. "I promised her a good time tonight, and I intend to deliver on that promise." 

The words were said lightly, but the meaning behind them was clear. She was here because he wanted her here, and she would stay until he decided they would leave. My teeth began to ache, and I unclenched my jaw and relaxed my hands, which had started to form into fists. 

From the corner of my eye, I saw her take a long drink, and something twisted in my gut. "She'll be here when you return." 

Luca glanced between me and Luna. I sensed his hesitation to leave me alone with her, even though he'd given his permission. Clearing his throat to get my attention, he gave me a warning look and led the old capo toward the hallway leading to his office.

Once they were gone, I gave in to my curiosity and studied the woman beside me. What was it about her that held my attention hostage?

She was stunning, with her cobalt blue eyes, dark hair, and full lips, but I was around beautiful women all the time at Luca's clubs. And they were usually naked, or nearly so. And yet, they'd never earned more than a moment of my appreciation.

But this one—Luna—she was...captivating. It made me feel uneasy.

I took a step closer and caught a whiff of an old-fashioned perfume that seemed vaguely familiar. She glanced at me from the corner of her eye and sipped her drink. Was I making her nervous? I should probably give her some space and stop staring like a goddamn creep, but I couldn't seem to drag my attention away. 

After what seemed to be an eternity, she spoke to me. "So, Tristan, huh?"

The sultry notes of her voice flowed over me like warm water, relaxing my muscles and increasing the flow of blood through my veins as it rushed to my cock. I was getting hard again just hearing the sound of my name on her lips. Fascinating. "Yes."

"I'm Luna."

"I know." 

She nodded and gave me an uncomfortable smile before looking away again to watch the people milling about the great room. 

"What's your last name?" I asked her.

"Wilde. With an ‘e.’”

I tried to remember if I knew that name, but it wouldn't come to me.

“And yours?”

"De Stefano," I said distractedly.

"Tristan De Stefano," she repeated. "That's a nice name."

"Thank you." 

With a glance and a slight lift of the corners of her lips that wasn't quite a smile, she turned her face toward the sound of the band that was drifting in through the open patio doors. Some of the guests began to drift back outside to listen to them. 

I watched as Luna's chest rose and fell with a deep breath. Then she set down her drink and turned to me. "So, do you wanna dance?"

"No," I told her. 

She blinked at my brusque answer, something vulnerable flashing in her eyes right before she ducked her head. But when she lifted her chin again, it was gone, replaced by calm confidence she'd pulled over herself like a shield.

There was more to this woman than a gorgeous face and body. Much more.

My eyes traveled over her face, and then followed the elegant line of her neck down to her shoulders and arms and the swell of her breasts, wondering what she looked like beneath the silky material of her dress. Perfect. I'd bet she was perfect. But it wasn't just her physical looks that drew me to her. No. There was something else. A honed strength that shone from her eyes and appeared in the set of her shoulders.

"Um...okay." Her forehead creased in confusion. "You don't know how?"

My eyes found hers. "I know how. I don't want to." Dancing required touching. I wasn't good with touching unless it was absolutely necessary. 

"Oh." 

A slight red flush blossomed on the pale skin at the neckline of her dress. I watched, fascinated, as it spread up her throat to her cheeks like a fog creeping across an open field. 

She cleared her throat and picked up her drink again. "Guess we'll just stand here awkwardly until my owner gets back then."

I frowned, disliking her choice of words. "Your owner?"

"Yeah. That's what he is," she told me. Then she shrugged one shoulder. "But I did it to myself, so I can't even be mad about it. And that's what really irritates me the most."

"What did you do?"

"I lost," she said with a self-depreciating smile. "That's what I did. I lost the bet."

So what Luca had heard was true.

"But I didn't lose everything. Just myself." She gave me another strange smile that didn't reach her eyes. "I'm kinda used to that."

I wanted to ask what she meant, but we were out of time to talk. Luca and Gino were returning. I tried to read Luca's expression as they rejoined us, but he was locked down tight. That couldn't be good. Gino, on the other hand, was all smiles as he signaled to the bartender for a refill. I felt, more than saw, Luna's entire body stiffen at the return of Gino, and her words echoed around in my head.

I narrowed my eyes as he wrapped an arm around her waist and dropped a kiss on her shoulder, images of him sliding her dress down and pressing his wet lips to her bare skin making my skin hot and prickly.

"Tristan."

It took me a moment to realize Luca was trying to get my attention. "Hmm?" 

He stepped closer, blocking my view of Gino. "I mean it," he said, so low I could barely hear him. "Leave her alone."

I wondered idly if Gino was treating her well. By the stiff set of her spine and shoulders, I would guess the answer to that question would be no. It made my skin itch to think of his hands on her, and I frowned...

"Tristan."

Luca's tone had changed. "Yes?"

"I need you to relieve Paulie outside. Watch the gate. All of the guests are here. No one else should be coming in."

I nodded once to indicate I understood, then strode purposefully across the room to the front door, checking my weapon discreetly as I went. I never thought to question the order. And I didn't look back at the woman with Gino again. But I didn't need to. Her image was seared into my brain.

Besides, I would see her again soon. Very soon.

* * *