Son destin - Trilogie de sa confession, tome 3 (EBOOK)

I’ve always been empty. A void where a soul should be. Now, everything is different. Because of her…

Monsters aren’t supposed to have empathy. That’s why I was the perfect mafia enforcer. Cold. Brutal and efficient.

Until I dragged Luna into the dark with me.

Even as my captive, she shined her light into all the scarred, tortured parts of my world, forcing me to realize I might be human after all.

And I hate it.

I have no idea what to do with these emotions. Desires. The overwhelming need I have for her touch, her body, her soul.

I know I can protect her from our mutual enemy. That’s why I kidnapped her in the first place.

But I’m starting to wonder if I’m the one who needs to be saved. Because for the first time in a long time, maybe ever, I think I’m…afraid.

After all, what kind of twisted beast will I become now that my heart—the one I only just realized I have—is in her delicate hands?

Trigger Warnings: Kidnapping, Stalking, R@pe (Not hero), Captive, PTSD, Childhood Abuse, Panic Attacks, Foster Care, Childhood SA, Physical Abuse, Self Harm, Drugging, Incest (not between hero and heroine), non-con, graphic violence, abuse, drugging, captivity.

Tristan

I stepped into my office, then stood in the center of the room, not knowing what else to do. An hour had gone by since I'd come home to an empty house, and I still found it hard to breathe. On Luca's orders, his men had searched the grounds while Luca, Enzo, and I went through every corner of his house and mine. We'd checked the security footage. She wasn't here.

It was like she'd vanished into thin air.

My gaze landed on the painting that covered my small wall safe for just a second before sliding away, but then I frowned and gave it a second look. Something was…off. I cocked my head as I studied it, but couldn't immediately pinpoint what was wrong. It was just more of a feeling. 

A flicker of unease curled in my gut as I approached it. I kept my demons locked away in that safe—pieces that formed the mosaic of my life's darkest moments. But still, it contained parts of me that certain people weren't ever meant to see unless I chose to show them. And there were very few people I allowed into that part of my life.

Taking the picture off the wall, I set it to the side. The safe door was closed. I wiggled the handle. It was locked, as it should be. Tapping in the code, I pulled it open. Inside, everything was as I'd left it. 

I started to close it again, but then I hesitated. Rifling through the papers, I pulled out the stack of pictures and thumbed through them. They were all there—except one. 

Taking them to my desk, I sat down and checked them again, just to make sure it wasn't stuck to another photo. Setting the stack aside, I searched the area around my desk, and then the entire office, throwing books to the floor and sending papers and pens flying as my previous unease escalated to panic.

But deep down, I knew I hadn't dropped the photo, because I would never have been so careless. Especially not with that particular photo. I'd left it with the others. I knew I had. Just like I also knew who had it now.

My pulse thundered in my ears. 

She knew. 

Luna had been here, rifling through the layers of my past without my permission, and she'd found the photo of her and her mother. I didn't know how I was so certain of this fact, I just was.

My heart hammered against my ribcage in a violent staccato before I gave myself an internal shake. I was panicking for no reason. How would she have gotten into the safe? There's no way she would have guessed the code. Unless I'd left it open? 

Normally, I would say that wasn't possible. I was meticulous with my privacy. However, the last time I'd been in here was after I'd shown Enzo the photo. I'd left it lying on the kitchen table, and put it back in the safe later. After I'd told her Gino was her biological father. I'd been distracted, my mind on Luna.

If she'd figured out why I'd kept it—if she'd connected the dots as to why I had these photos—this new twisted bond forming between us would snap before it had the chance to strengthen into something more.

My mind spun in circles. Did I want some kind of relationship with her? Was I even capable of such a thing? I didn't know. But I wanted the chance to find out.

"LUNA!" I screamed her name, even though I knew she wouldn't answer. My voice echoed off the walls, mocking me, reminding me that I was alone. Always alone. 

It'd never bothered me before. As a matter of fact, I preferred the silence of solitude. At least I had, until Luna had stumbled into my life. But within the weeks I'd known her, it was getting harder and harder to remember my life before her. And try as I might to keep them at bay, scenarios about where she was and who she was with raced through my mind, each one more horrifying than the last.  

The silence mocked me as I stormed through the house, searching—again—for some kind of clue as to where she went, every step laden with dread that I would find nothing. That she'd somehow just vanished into thin air. 

Or worse, that she'd never been here to begin with and had only been a sick figment of my imagination. Something my mind made up just to fuck with me. As if the nightmares and the memories of my childhood weren't torture enough.

I stopped suddenly in the middle of the hallway. Was it true? Had I finally lost my mind completely?

But no. It couldn't be. Pressing my fingers to my temples, I closed my eyes. I could still feel the silky texture of her hair and the softness of her skin. Her clothes were in my fucking bedroom, her toiletries were in my bathroom, and the scent of sex still lingered on my sheets. 

I could still taste her on my tongue.

The two men I considered my friends, or at least as much as I was capable of, knew she was here. Luca—the fucking mafia boss—had seen her. Enzo had talked to her. Taken care of her when I was too much of a coward to show my face. If she wasn't real, if I was starting to hallucinate, he wouldn't have played along. He would've told Luca, who would've thrown me in a fucking psych ward somewhere. 

I took a deep breath and tried to get my shit together. Luna was gone. Now, I needed to figure out where the fuck she was. She couldn't have gone far. All our vehicles were accounted for, and none of the guards had seen her leave. It was the middle of the day, and cameras covered every inch of Luca's property. There were no blind spots. No way she could've snuck past them on foot without being seen. 

Back in the living room, shards of sunlight cut through the blinds. I closed them so violently that one came loose and fell to the floor with a clatter. But it made no difference. There was no light in this house. Not now. Not without Luna. 

I cursed under my breath and strode to the kitchen. It was spotless, as always—except for her clean dishes drying in the sink. So she'd eaten the breakfast I'd left her, and then…what? 

Again, I forced myself to stop and take a breath. Perhaps I was wrong and, in my distracted state, the photo had merely been misplaced somehow. In that case, I was panicking about nothing. 

She was close to her brother and spoke to him often. It was possible she'd caught a ride to see him. Called an Uber or something, and by some miracle made it to the front gate without being seen. But why would she leave without telling me after promising she would stay in the house? 

The answer, of course, was simple. Because she knew I wouldn't let her go, and she'd taken the first chance she'd gotten to leave.

I rubbed my temples with my fingertips. No. No matter what I tried to tell myself, deep down in my black soul, I knew that wasn't the only reason. 

She knew. I felt the certainty of this all the way down to my bones. She'd figured out my secret and finally saw me for the monster I truly was. Not because of my scars or the abuse inflicted upon me. But because of what I'd done. 

Shadows encroached on the edges of my vision and my palms grew clammy. How could she ever forgive me? 

What if she never did? 

Inhaling deep, I realized it didn't matter. I was no hero, and I'd never claimed to be one. I'd never pretended to be anything but what I am. But if there was one truth I couldn't deny, it was that Luna had seeped into the cracks of my cold heart, and now that I knew what it was to be with her, I would do whatever had to be done to get her back. I didn't care if she forgave me or not. Eventually, she'd learn to live with what I'd done. 

She was mine now, and I wouldn't—I couldn't—let her go.